香山リカのココロの万華鏡：神童にならなくても ／東京

好きこそ物の上手なれ！
それが大好きなら続けられるし、そうでなければ子供に苦痛を与えるだけなのです。
努力していれば、結果は後からついてくるものです＾＾。
（スラチャイ）

(Mainichi Japan) December 4, 2011
Kaleidoscope of the Heart: Not every child has to become a prodigy
香山リカのココロの万華鏡：神童にならなくても　／東京

This year has been marked by a drastic rise in the popularity of child celebrities.
　今年は、子役が大ブーム。

There are many child actors and singers, all of whom are still in kindergarten or lower elementary school, with skills that would put adults to shame.
　幼稚園生や小学校の低学年のあどけない子どもたちが、おとな顔負けの芝居をしたり歌を歌ったり。

They're well mannered in interviews but still maintain age-appropriate cuteness.
インタビューでも礼儀正しく、それでいて年相応の無邪気さも見せる。

Amidst the endless serious and dark news these days, these children's smiles have become indispensable in soothing our minds.
何かと暗い話題が多い中、子役たちの笑顔は私たちをなごませる上で欠かせないものとなっている。

Such children are not only present in the world of TV; there are athletes, musicians, English and math experts, and many other "child prodigies" with impressive talents in various fields.
　活躍しているのはテレビに出てくる子役だけではない。ときどきスポーツ教室や音楽教室にも“神童”が現れ、抜群の才能でおとなたちを驚かさせる。
幼児のための学習教室には、英語の達人、計算の名人などもいるようだ。

There is nothing wrong with looking at these children and thinking, "Wow, there are some really amazing kids out there." However, there are many occasions when this fascination escalates and some parents become obsessed with the idea of turning their children into prodigies no matter what.
　「すごい子どももいるものだね」と感心しているうちはまだよいが、子を持つ親の中には、「ウチの子も」といわゆる英才教育に熱心になる人もいる。

Because children like to be praised by their parents, at the beginning they try very hard and show good results in everything they do. They try to live up to their parents' expectations.
子どもは親にほめられるとうれしいので、最初のうちは期待にこたえようと、一生懸命、勉強、練習などに励み、それなりの成果を上げる。

However, not everyone who tries hard becomes a success.
　しかし、努力すれば誰もが天才になれるわけではない。

Dealing with failure is a major challenge for parents and children. Sometimes no matter how much kids try they can't pass an audition or receive a prize, and that is part of the reality that many parents and their children face in the pursuit of success.
　いくらやってもコンテストで入賞しない、オーディションに合格しない、という現実の壁に突き当たったとき、その親子はどうするかが問題。

I once had a patient in my consultation room, a mother, who told me that she just couldn't give up on the idea of her daughter becoming a professional ballerina.
She told me the following:
"I have sacrificed everything in my life to make my dream of her becoming a ballerina come true. But her ballet instructor told me that I should give up, because my daughter doesn't have the potential. I just can't accept this. When I told my husband that I want to send our daughter to ballet lessons abroad, he advised me to consult a psychiatrist."
　いつだったか、診察室に「どうしてもあきらめきれない」という母親がやって来たことがあった。
　「娘をバレリーナにするのが夢で、これまですべてを注ぎ込んで親子でその道を目指してきたんです。バレエ教室の先生に『これ以上、上はムリ』と言われてしまったけれど受け入れられない。娘を外国に連れて行ってレッスンを受けさせたい、と言ったら、夫に『一度、精神科で相談してきたら』と言われたんです」

As the mother talked away, her still very young daughter listened, looking down.
　必死に訴える母親のそばで、まだ幼い娘は申し訳なさそうにうつむいていた。

She seemed embarrassed and apologetic for not having the ability her mother would have wished for her.
She looked as if she was saying, "My mother is suffering because of me."
　「私のせいでママが苦しんでる」と自分を責めているようだった。

My job on such occasions is to first try to console the child before the mother. I have to tell them that it's not their fault. Otherwise they will forever feel responsible for not living up to their parents' expectations.
こういう場合は、母親よりも先に子どものほうに「あなたが悪いわけじゃないよ」と伝えなければ、心に深い傷を残してしまう。

Needless to say, every parent is proud and happy if their children are especially talented.
　わが子が天才なら、もちろん親はうれしいはずだ。

However, not every child can become a prodigy.
Sometimes it is in fact better for children not to be so special.
　ただ、誰もが神童や天才になる必要はないし、もっと言えば「そんな特別な存在にならないほうがいい」とも言える。

Always being in the spotlight and admired is not necessarily a positive experience. Sometimes it may harm children emotionally as they grow up.
　いつも注目され称賛されながらすごすのは、子どもの心の成長には必ずしもプラスとは言えないからだ。

Having a talent can bring happiness, but not having a special skill can also leave one content.
　才能があればあったで幸せだし、なければないでまたそれも幸せなこと。

This is what I thought as I recently observed popular child celebrities.
子役たちの活躍を見ながら、そんなことを思った。

(By Rika Kayama, psychiatrist)
毎日新聞　2011年11月29日　地方版